I’m sure by now Marlene Krauss has called Andrew Tilley at home to ask him if he’s been putting fireworks up his ass. But hey, how are we supposed to know whether or not that’s him? Though Tilley has been manager for a week, he’s been hiding himself away and virtually nobody has seen him.
So what we’d like to know is, is Tilley going to pull a Bernstein (named in honor of our most recent general manager) and just never come in to work and try to run the hotel by remote control? That’s one of the reasons nobody would accept BD: they just swept in here and set up shop without introducing themselves to anybody. It was very disrespectful, and even though of course we’re just a bunch of stupid artists here, most of us couldn’t help but feel a little bit offended. And certainly this bad blood that BD created contributed to their untimely demise.
Tilley doesn’t seem to have done his homework on this place. He probably thinks he can just lay back and pull a few dirty tricks to get rid of the pesky permanent tenets, and then he can run a nice, tidy boutique hotel like he’s always dreamed of doing. Well, think again, Rocketman Tilley: we ain’t going nowhere. If you want to be manager you’re going to have to stand up there at the front desk and take the good with the bad: the tourists who come in and rave about how great this place is, what a unique New York institution, and, conversely, the insane who will bug the shit out of you for every little thing that goes wrong around here. Also if your going to be manager you have to deal with the press and right now they're being sent to Glennon Travis' voice mail: inquiring minds want to know.
It’s a dirty job, but it has to be done. And so, once again, we suggest that you call a meeting of the Chelsea Hotel Tenants Association so you can introduce yourself and tell us all about your plans for the building. To do otherwise is to breed further distrust and suspicion. (And you’re already starting off with a buttload, brother!)
Marlene, you’d better get down here right away and get to the bottom of this, or else Tilley is not even going to last as long as BD! -- Ed Hamilton
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