Glennon Travis, we hardly knew ye. And it’s a shame too, but certainly the fact that board member Marlene Krauss, Harvard MBA, feels she has to come to the Chelsea Hotel to micromanage its operations, does not bode well for your job security. Still, we have our memories, and what fond memories they are:
1. First Impressions: When Gennon was first named “Director of Operations” in late July of last year, essentially taking over Stanley Bard’s role as day-to-day manager of the hotel, it produced in residents an odd sort of cognitive dissonance. How could this callow youth, without even a degree in hotel management--and seemingly without the sense God gave an ass-- be expected to run the famous Chelsea Hotel? (Turns out he wasn’t able to run the place, but that’s another story.) For many residents, it still has yet to register that Glennon is the one in charge.
2. Tampering with the U.S. Mail: not long after Glennon arrived, all the residents received a notice in their mail box, stating:
"To prevent any confusion please be advised that BD Hotels is no longer the managing agent of the Chelsea Hotel. All inquiries should be directed to David Elder, Office of the Manager."
A hoax, obviously, though how prescient it may yet prove! Anyway, when I opened mine in front of Glennon, he snatched the letter out of my hand and threw it in the trash, as he did with the rest of the notices that had been delivered to residents boxes, blithely unconcerned that such actions may constitute a federal offense. This is the kind of thing that we’ve all grown to love about Glennon: he doesn’t think; he merely acts.
3. Anti-Child policy: Not long after that Glennon made up a little white lie about a child in the building cursing a maid, which enabled him to decree, seemingly by fiat, that children (and pets) were no longer permitted to roam unattended in the common areas of the hotel. The children laughed and did as they pleased. At about the same time Glennon also imposed draconian restrictions on the items residents could place in the hallways—though he made seemingly random exceptions. His latest edict is that residents must request all repairs in writing.
4. Glennon’s MySpace Page: extensive research enabled us to uncover a top-secret document that was to prove highly embarrassing to Glennon. On the page—which anybody with a computer could accesss— the ever-professional Glennon, a self-described Eurotrash beach bum, revealed that he loves Reggae and wine, and aspires to be a hip hotel junky.
5. Wedding Registry: We found out that Glennon was getting married, and we linked to his gift registry, which included a listing for highball glasses and related bar ware, so he could have those party animals Born and Drukier (who are no doubt ruing the day they got involved with the Chelsea Hotel) come by for drinks. (By the way, the holy ceremony is yet to occur—though we wouldn’t blame Glennon’s fiancé if she was having second thoughts about his ability to support her—so you can still send a gift!) (Photo: Richard Born and Glennon Travis partying via The NY Observer)
6. Thanksgiving Turkey: Around Thanksgiving Chris Shott’s article in the Observer—normally a very conservative and pro-development paper—appeared, in which he called Glennon “Bizarro Bard” and “Baby Dictator.” Shott also pointed out that Glennon treats permanent residents worse than transients—though we disputed this, since we have received numerous reports form transient guests saying that he has treated them poorly as well.
7. Holiday Cheer: Last December Glennon put his name on the holiday gift list—along with the regular staff—seemingly in order to jokingly extort money from residents in his inimitably endearing way. (If you haven’t been able to get any repairs done since, then by God, you know why!)
8. Party Pooper: Unbelievably, and contrary to the spirit of freedom that the Chelsea represents, Glennon called the police on a resident because he thought he smelled pot smoke in the halls. The cops had a good laugh when they arrived and heard Glennon’s lighthearted suggestion that they break down the resident’s door and drag him out. Reportedly, Glennon has stated that he believes that all Chelsea Hotel residents use drugs!
9. Bizarre Threats: Glennon recently threatened to have a very well-respected resident arrested simply for asking questions and voicing concerns about the operation of the hotel.
10. Trashing the Old Guard: At various times, Glennon has falsely accused loyal, longterm employees of, respectively: theft, drinking on the job, and drug dealing.
But don’t let us have all the fun. Share your own treasured memories of our beloved Glennon, before he is snatched away from us in the same way that Born and Drukier’s senses must have been snatched away from them on the day they thought to appoint Glennon to such a position of responsibility. -- Ed Hamilton
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