Attack of the Corporate Pod People

     Our new overlords, the corporate suits of BD Hotels, have just released their plans for our happy home.  Certain quotes are telling.  Board member Marleen Krauss, says, "For many, the Chelsea Hotel is  one of New York's most cherished and legendary landmarks." Yes, but for some its not, including, I suspect Marlene and BD Hotels.
     They say they want to "preserve and restore the building." Sounds fine, but it's words like "enhance," "reinvigorate," and "rejuvenate" that give one pause. Not to mention the diabolical suggestion of "modernization."  Though this latter is applied to the mechanical, electrical, and plumbing systems -- which may not sound like a bad idea -- we need to read between the lines here:  they are going to be tearing out walls, creating an infernal racket, and filling the air with (possibly hazardous) dust. Possibly with a view to driving us out.
     I also bristle at the talk of creating "more inviting and livelier common areas," and "better activitating the Chelsea Hotel's historic spaces."  What else is this but an underhanded way of saying they are going to renovate the lobby?  Haven't you done your homework.  The lobby is the Vortex of Insanity.  You start messing with stuff there and you'll be sucked down into hell!  The ghosts will follow you home, you jerks.
     Also disturbing is the obvious suggestion of a "street-front retail program." A big box, in other words, maybe a bank or a Duane Reade.  Hell, maybe we can clear all that junk out of Dan's Guitar's and get a Starbucks!  A big, fat Vomit Latte for the Armani suit of wolves who came up with this nauseating plan.
     Ira Drukier of BD thinks that with a little work the Chelsea "can once again become a crown jewel of New York City."   But aren't we already that? (They took the Pickwick Arms on East 51st Street and turned it into something called "The Pod Hotel.")  It sounds more like they plan to turn us into just another trashy bauble.  -- Ed Hamilton (Thanks Gothamist for the photo.)