By the gods, this is a singular injustice, and one that I’m afraid has finally caused me to lose my faith in human nature! I’m referring of course to the recent American Institute of Architects survey ranking America’s most beloved buildings—in which, scandalously, the Chelsea didn’t even rank in the top 150! As our illustrious proprietor Stanley Bard will be sure to tell you, the Chelsea is the most famous building in the world. So what gives?
Well, the number 1 most beloved is the Empire State Building, and that I can kind of see. They do have a pretty good view there, to be fair, although I’ll bet they don’t have Peek-A-Boo Baths! But the Brooklyn Bridge at number 20?! Hell, it’s not even a building, you crew of rocket scientists. And the World Trade Center at number 19? Nobody liked it at all before 9-11, so they must mean after. So is it the pile of rubble or the hole in the ground? Moving, disturbing perhaps, but beloved?
Several hotels beat out the Chelsea: the St. Regis (16), the Waldorf Astoria (46), The Plaza (81), and the Royalton (133). They must have only surveyed millionaires. Were Bohemians specifically excluded?
You know the fix was in when you read that the Apple Computer Store on 5th Avenue ranks 53rd, while the one in Soho comes in at 141! (Have I mentioned lately that we have free Wifi in our lobby? Who wouldn’t love that?! Come on!) But what really takes the cake is that the yet-to-be-built New York Times Building by Renzo Piano somehow managed to be ranked number 68! Boy, people must really love the Westside Stadium!
While I realize that self-centered writers and artists can be annoying, the Chelsea must certainly be universally despised if even non-existent buildings and smoldering ruins of twisted steel emitting toxic fumes rank higher! But at least we beleaguered Bohemians can take a bit of solace in the fact that there are no Trump buildings on the list. -- Ed Hamilton
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