Caterer and Hotelkeeper magazine has helpfully provided us with a list of 11 concepts that 
have changed the face of the hotel industry in the past few decades. Because we had nothing better to do today, we thought we’d see how our own favorite hotel measures up to the industry standard:
1. The Internet. Amazingly, we do have WiFi access. You can connect in the lobby with no problem—besides the threat to your sanity. For seven dollars a night--rather steep in my opinion—they will tell you how to get access in your own room. Though we only got computers at the front desk in 1999—moving into the 20th century at the last possible moment—we didn’t waste much time in offering internet access, presumably because a lot of people wouldn’t rent rooms without it.
2. The celebrity chef. You kidding me? We have one of the finest delis in New York right down the block.3. Better hotel restaurants. I guess we can count the El Quijote. Their food is standard Spanish fare, but it’s pretty tasty, and they always give you a lot to eat.
3. The boutique hotel. Ian Schrager claims to have invented these. Well, he’s wrong.
4. The budget hotel. Ha! Should be cheap, but somehow, strangely, isn’t. Once upon a time our fine establishment was an off-Bowery flophouse. Does that count?
5. Easy air travel. Thankfully, the hotel management doesn’t have any control over this. Or do they?
6. The Spa. Well, we used to have a gym, but the guy who ran it just up and left one day. We have a hair salon—April in Room 303 (may as well put in a word for her)—is that close?
7. Eastern European labor. Nothing so exotic for us. Where was Steve, the old engineer, from?
8. The death of stiff service. According to the article, “...service in even the grandest hotels has become a little more unbuttoned and relaxed.” We are clear and away the industry leaders in this category.
9. The high fashion hotel bar. We have Serena’s in the moldy old basement. According to the article, the bar should be a little hard to get in. Although Serena’s is not that trendy anymore, you’re not allowed in at all if they find out you’re from the hotel.
10. The vacuum wine saver. Just get one of those big jugs and drink yourself into a stupor like everybody else around here. If you have any left over it’s just as good the next day.
11. No more single beds. “There can be few more depressing sites on opening a hotel door than a 2ft 6in wide bed overlooking the dustbins,” writes the author, David Harris. Well, you haven’t stayed here yet, buddy.
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