A reader of our blog wrote in with the query: “Have you ever written about the Prostitution Ring which is allowed to operate freely here at the Chelsea Hotel?”
Well, no, we haven’t, chiefly because we didn’t know of its existence.
But it sounds quite exciting, actually: Pimps sporting gold teeth and Stetson hats flashing switchblades, payoffs to the mob, politicians caught with their pants down. It’s getting so damned boring around here. Bring on the Ring!
As evidence in support of his allegation, our reader attached these two complaints posted by dissatisfied customers on Craigslist:
THIS IS A TOTAL BAIT AND SWITCH. JUST CAME FROM THE CHELSEA HOTEL. NOT THE GIRL IN THE PIC. WASTE OF TIME. SERVICE SUCKED! POSTS UNDER THE NAME CARLIE, BLACK HAIR TATOO ON HER BACK.
REVIEW: SLAMMIN! HOT NEW SEXY BABE: I went to the Chelsea Hotel last night to see this girl. It was not her! Pics are 150% fake!! Don’t xpect to be seeing the girl in the pic or you will be disappointed!.
Gee, prostitution is a ripoff. What a surprise. Contact the Better Business Bureau. But seriously, folks, just wait ‘till I get my hands on this Carlie! This unscrupulous little tart is ruining the reputation of our grand old hotel.
I want you to note, however, that nowhere in either of these complaints is there any reference to any sort of Ring, Prostitution or otherwise. Carlie is surely a free range prostitute, unassociated with our proud Chelsea Prostitution Ring, which, for the record, is the finest in the city.
Like everything else about this hotel, our ladies of the evening do tend to be a bit seedy, their beauty a tad faded. Still, they’re guaranteed 150% SLAMMIN! HOT! And what’s more, the service sucks! (Is that good or bad, by the way? Just wondering.) Give us a Ring, why doncha?
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