Tired of Your Life Why Not Swap

A couple of weeks ago Ed and I ventured over to Nancy Weber’s house to check out the Life Swap party.  The party was organized by the German art group Wooloo.org.  The founders of Wooloo had heard about Nancy Weber’s bestselling book , “The Life Swap,” and contacted her about reviving the idea that she first wrote about in the 1970s.   Nancy was surprised and touched by the gesture and agreed to participate.
When we first arrived at the party we were a little intimidated by the sign on the door which indicated that we were consenting to give up our keys and clothes by entering the premises.  Holy Shit, let’s get out of here, we said.  But we couldn’t resist snapping a quick picture of the sign and as we did so the door opened and who should pop out but a a fellow writer/blogger Nichelle.  She quickly outed us as the Chelsea Hotel bloggers and brought us inside. 

     We had missed the actual swap ritual but heard that two women had indeed swapped lives and clothes a little earlier in the evening and both had gone on their merry way each to the other woman’s home.  We chatted with our friend Heather Corcoran from NY Resident and she was debating whether or not she wanted to do a swap.  Ultimately she decided not to.  Mark Weiner from the arts organization Resolve 40 tried to convince Ed to write a book about a hotel in Las Vegas.  Among the strange coincidences was that Nancy Weber’s daughter had actually edited the Publisher’s Weekly review of Ed’s book.
     The party certainly offered an array of charming appetizers and no wonder, Nancy is also a cater.  You can check out her work at In between Books she Cooks. Other highlights included the festive pillows strewn about the chairs designed by Nancy, a true jack of all trades, to look like various pharmaceuticals.

We caught up with one of the participants in the life swap, Talena Sanders, and asked her a few questions:
1. What were your expectations going into the exchange?

I kept envisioning myself in a one-bedroom situation, thinking maybe the wooloo folks would pair me up with the polar opposite of my life. I live in a two floor artist community-type house with 11 roommates, 4 cats, and a pet chicken.  So, I predicted, and maybe somewhat hoped, that I would be exchanging with a person who had a small space to theirself.  I anticipated and feared that their clothes wouldn't fit
me, that my hips would be too big for their pants.  I also thought I would have enough time alone to experience the rare voyeuristic glee of being able to look through some one else's things unabashedly.

2.  What did your friends/family think about your plans?

Their initial reaction was confusion, they always wanted more details than even I could provide.  Mostly they were intrigued and supportive. I was given some cautionary advice by some, and quite a few said
things along the lines of "I could never do that".  It was interesting to gauge reactions amongst my different groups of acquaintances - the excitement of my roommates and the incredulity of some people I work with.

3. Did you learn anything about yourself as a result of the exchange?

It's amazing how such a simple act can feel so intimate.  Living space and clothing can become so indelibly tied up in your identity. Handing over control of those two aspects of life is exhilarating, but
also leaves you feeling a bit like the rug's been pulled out from under you.  I was surprised at how uncomfortable I actually was when it came down to really trying to live Mercedes' life at her home, with
her friends.  I was so uncomfortable that I immediately relinquished any ideals of presenting myself as the other person, and was generally myself, just out of context.

Mercedes lives with her boyfriend, Gabro.  As I read the info sheet she provided me and realized this, I had a great amount of respect for her willingness to take part in this  exchange to that extent. Sharing clothes and living space is huge, but it takes a bold and confident individual to allow another woman to sleep in bed with your partner.  I found myself wondering if I had a similar situation, would I be able to do the same?

4. What was the most rewarding part of the experience?

I'm becoming friends with Mercedes and Gabro as a result of this experience.  We have a link that not many others have as a foundation for friendship.  I've invited them to VJ an event in the week since
the exchange, and hopefully we're on the way to many more nights of VJing at a Friday night party together. Just being able to participate in the project was also symbolically significant to me.  I recently graduated college and am working a more than full time job.  The work environment is creative, but what I do at work is not.  I have been feeling apprehensive lately, worried that I don't have enough time in my life for my artistic practice, and that over time art would lost its place as a priority.  This experience reminded me that I still have a vital creative life and cemented what I know at the core - that I won't give up.

5.  Was anything about the experience disappointing?

I wish I could have had more notice so that I could have fully exchanged lives.  I would have taken off work if I had enough notice to do so.  I was slightly disappointed that our exchange was only 24
hours because after 24 hours I was finally starting to feel comfortable with the idea.  However, it did feel good to go back to my life afterward.

6.  Would you do it again and/or recommend that other people participate?

Definitely.  I would love to do another Life Exchange over a longer period of time.  I would definitely encourage any one to participate if this type of performance happens again.

additional:
I found one of the most interesting aspects of the experience to be the way it felt to return to my own life.  Even though I had only been gone for 24 hours, I felt as if I needed to do something to fully
reclaim my life as my own again.  We did such a specific ritual to exchange lives, but the return to our lives wasn't scripted.