Mike Daisey, in a hilarious and brilliant talk, raved about computers, Steve Jobs and vibrators for about an hour at Tekserve last night.
Performance artist, author and raconteur, Daisey is in the midst of a two-part talk on Modern Living. Last night, at Tekserve, was The Pleasures of Technology. Tonight, at 7 pm, he stars in The Terrors of Literature at the McNally Robinson Bookstore.
Tekserve is the coolest computer store in Manhattan. The Apple stores are great, but Tekserve has an organic homegrown quality that can’t be designed by committee. The floors are an old polished wood, a spine of white Greek columns line center of the store and there’s a fish tank full of tetras with a wonderful piece of driftwood. A woman who works there said they soaked the driftwood in the tank for two years before they even thought about putting fish in. Before the tetras, the tank was home to a huge fish called Lisa. Lisa lived in the store for a decade. She died a few years back and her memorial was taken down only recently.
Daisey said it’s hard to be a New Yorker and not be connected to technology. We are always aching for the latest technology. He told us about the new router he was getting. The old one was cool when he got it. It was round and it covered his entire tiny apartment. But the new one is rectangular and will cover his entire tiny apartment even more completely.
Not only are we addicted to having the newest technology, but, “There is nothing on earth that works less well than a computer.” He compared computers to the most basic of home appliances, the vibrator. “The Wahl 9000 is a marvelous instrument. It never crashed. It never blue screened. Off, low and high are each what you expect it to be. Every time. And I don’t have a special sleeve for it. We throw it under the bed.” After encouraging us all to get one, he said that computers are basically unstable.
“Computers are not appliances. They are environments, a playground for making shit happen. You can do things the creator of them never even thought of,” he said. He compared them to an abusive relationship, where your partner, who is creative and wonderful, just sometimes, for no known reason, completely freaks out. Computers are so complicated you can’t really know what is going on. And your pour your whole life into them.
“There is a kind of religious war between Mac and PC,” he said. The difference between them is “just that you are used to what kind of shit that’s fucked up. You get used to the way it’s going to be abusive.” Microsoft is a bloat system because every time they have a new update, your system gets slower. There’s not one program that will do everything—instead, every program has every feature. Every update means that things will be in different places and that will annoy you. It will be slower and it will get weirder. “It’s built into the DNA of Microsoft,” he said.
The Mac platform has related, but different problems. There’s no bloat. Instead, they like to remove features. Daisey said Apple’s success is due to Steve Job’s overwhelming vision. “Steve Jobs is a crazy motherfucker. That’s why his company is working. He is the Willy Wonka of the tech world. His dream is to remove everything.”
With a new Microsoft release, Daisey said, everything will work, including the virus. “Everyone wants to create the first Mac virus,” he said.
He ended the evening by telling us all to back up our computers. And then he told us again. And again. He explained that people who only use Hotmail and IM have hard drives that last forever. If you have original content, or a movie, you’re doomed.
“Treat every computer like it’s slightly radio active,” he told us. They’re powerful tools that act unstable, and that’s their beauty.
Sherry Mazzocchi
I'm a little bummed that I didn't know about this.
Posted by: Andy Lee | March 23, 2007 at 11:03 AM