Come Back to the Chelsea Ryan! We're Not In New York!

So, former Chelsea Hotel resident Ryan Adams has left New York because the New York Times was mean to him.  Apparently they criticized one of his songs -- imagine that -- and said he needed to self- edit a little better.  Well, don't we all.  But how will moving to LA help?  Can't the NYT still get ahold of his albums and trash them?  And don't people in LA read the NYT? In this day and age I think they can even get it online.  You can't escape the long arm of the NYT!
     And what's with the papers in LA?  Has he got them on his payroll?  Or will he have to pack up and move again once they criticize him?
    Well, you're always welcome at the Chelsea, Ryan.  Somtimes I'm not sure whether or not we're even in New York -- but if you're like a lot of people here, you'll have no problem pretending you're on a different, friendlier and more human planet, altogether.  (For better or for worse!)
     What I'm really wondering, however, is how we can convince the NYT to be mean to Chelsea Hotel minority share holder Marlene Krauss so she'll move to Lapland or Tanzania, or blast off in a rocket to Mars. -- Ed Hamilton