Last Friday evening, a mysterious Asian man was spotted sitting in the Chelsea Hotel lobby.He seemed agitated, unable to relax, as if eager to be up and on his way. At one point he exchanged heated words with an unknown woman, and was heard to criticize hotel management personnel.
Was he a spy? A paid assassin? A government scientist passing top secret documents to his Russian contact? And would our security force whip out Uzis and mow him down? Or slip a hood over his head and spirit him off to Guantanamo? Anything seems possible these days at the increasingly surreal Chelsea Hotel.
But relax, paranoid Bohemians, it was just Mr. Yee, a process server, here to serve notice to the tenth floor residents that they had ten days to chop down those rooftop trees and pitch those planters over the edge into the courtyard. Mr. Yee was angry because manager Andrew Tilley had hightailed it out of the hotel the moment the clock struck 5 (if not before), neglecting to sign the requisite paperwork. Now Mr. Yee apparently had to wait around for Tilley (or some other authorized joker) to reappear. (We still don’t know who the woman was, a latter day reincarnation of Mata Hari, perhaps.)
The plot thickens. For, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the Chelsea Hotel ’s law firm, Belkin Burden, serve their own notices? Marlene hired Belkin Burden, Stanley ’s old law firm, after she severed the relationship with Bob Olshever. Now, just a few months later, sources in the legal community tell us that Marlene’s relationship with Belkin Burden is on the rocks as well. Whether this is due to the botched handling of Arthur Nash’s DHCR harassment case, or whether it has more to do with the recent “Bob Dylan’s Room” illegal construction fiasco, Marlene is well known for leaving a trail of burned bridges and bloated corpses in her wake.
So, what’s it to be? Will Marlene have Belkin Burden for breakfast on her way to world domination? Or will a slumbering God awaken, and, in his righteous vengeance, finally strike her down. For further updates, clichés, and mixing of metaphors, stay tuned for the next installment. -- Ed Hamilton