Forget Stanley Bard. Pity the mere mortal who is chosen to fill the voluminous shoes of the highly competent and supremely good-natured Glennon Travis, loved and respected by Chelsea Hotel denizens past and present. Who has been singled out to bear this immense burden? The suspense is killing you isn’t it?
Well, the wait is over, Chelsea Happy Campers. We've heard the new guy starts today. He's a chap named Eustace – er I mean Andrew Tilley, who hails from England, attended Kelly College, and worked at, among other places, the Hyatt Carlton Tower in London and the Balmoral in Edinburgh. Well, bliney mates, here’s a bloke who should class up the joint.
Silly Tilley. The big question for me is why you would be crazy enough to take this job. Have you bothered to take a look at this blog? How about reading the court papers in the recent arbitration filing (BD NY vs. Chelsea 23rd Street Corp). You’re dealing with some real snakes here in Marlene Krauss and her faithful servant David Elder. They fired both Stanley Bard, who had been managing the hotel for 50 years, and BD, one of the top hotel firms in New York. Think you can do better? If you thought you were sick of Elder already, just wait: he’s gonna be dogging your ass around this hotel, giving you all kinds of senseless orders and interfering with every move you make (read the court papers). Having worked at hotels in Kuwait and Dubai however, perhaps you’re at home under such oligarchic, oppressive regimes.
Which brings us to the equally intriguing question of why Marlene would hire this guy? Sure, Piccadilly Tilley is the king of the gimmick, masterminding such promotional offers as free gasoline and free theatre tickets and room rates that match the temperature outside while at the Paramount Hotel in Times Square. And no doubt Marlene was impressed that Rockabilly Tilley was hired to transform the Paramount into a Hard Rock Hotel, as that is probably the sort of lame-ass fate she envisions for the Chelsea. On the other hand, as I gather from recent comments on Trip Advisor, he wasn’t able to accomplish that transition. Though a press release says the hotel was “rebranded” in 2007, guests still think they’re at the Paramount, and complain that the rooms are old and dirty and poorly maintained. Sound familiar? I guess for this job, despite the “Help Wanted” sign on the front of the hotel, there just weren’t that many applicants.
But really, Tilley, all jokes aside: Welcome to the World Famous Chelsea Hotel. If you’re really serious about managing the place – as opposed to evicting us all and gutting the building – we’d like to invite you to introduce yourself and discuss your plans at a meeting of the Tenants Association. I’m sure everyone would love to hear what you have to say! Though he’s no Stanley or David Bard, there’s at least one thing in Tilley’s favor: he has no Myspace page – yet! -- Ed Hamilton